"From the Stiletto Files"....

As many of you may know, and some of you may not, I am the co-host of an Internet radio Show – Paper Dolls. And this week, like many others, we are having a guest appear on the program. Now, this in itself is not some sort of miraculous feat. However, the impact this guest has had on me (and she hasn’t even been on the show yet – we air Wednesdays at 10pm EST - yes, shameless plug) has been quite profound. You see, the author is Carole Brody Fleet. And her book is Widows Wear Stilettos. Aside from the shoe reference, why would I so strongly relate? Yes, I do strive for a “mean shoe game”. But no, I’m not a widow. What resonates so profoundly with me as I read her book is how relatable her sense of loss is to me. I questioned why I was so moved by such an unfamiliar experience. Then it dawned on me. The initial feelings she described were so “like me”. Although not equal, definitely relatable – the sense of loss you feel when you are initially diagnosed with MS. The feelings of hopelessness, irritability, anger, confusion, anxiety, worthlessness, her list goes on and I agreed with every single solitary emotion. I’ve been there. And if you’re like me….you have too.


But more importantly than the ability to relate to someone that shares my sense of loss without me having to go through the frustrating tale of how and why I feel the way I do. Why at any given moment I may swing on the pendulum on emotion like a monkey on a vine – from anger to a fit of snot rolling, uncontrollable sobs. She just gets it. And she pens it in a voice that echoes the vision on this blog. It is not to dismiss the tragedy but to encourage the healing. The sense of loss may forever resonate in your heart but it does not have to be the musical soundtrack of your life. With time you will be able to smile, laugh and live again - in a different capacity? Yes. With as much joy? You bet. As Mark Twain so eloquently put it “Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth.” And do it all in a pair kick-ass of stilettos - I added that part :)

A Slippery Slope

What do you get when you mix the imbalance accompanied by MS, 3" heels, and ice? A hot mess! There are days and then there are days...today was a "day". Most of you have heard by now about the wintery weather we have encountered in the Southeast (which we are not equipped to handle). So on top of the snow day on Monday, two-hour school delay this morning, and remnants of snowy-slushy icy mess - you have me trying as best I can to make it up the hill in my development. Today is the day I decide in an effort to conserve gas to let my husband drive the truck. Yes, I agree - dumb move. They tell you about "black ice" but I always attribute that to the highways and by-ways of the interstate - not residential streets. Well, it applies. I thought I could make it up the hill if I stayed in the paths made by the brave drivers that went before me. NOT! My poor little sedan sounded like the little engine that could..."I think I can, I think I can.." Until she died. Who knew that if your vehicle continues to spin its wheels to no avail it just cuts slam off ( a metaphor of life, no?) Well, I didn't know this - my husband informs me that it is so you don't burn out your pistons or something of the such - I no speak man-ese. At any rate, as I frantically get off the call with my BFF in an attempt to try to gain some traction - she dies again! Last resort - WALK! Did I mention 3" heels. These are my fave leather winter boots people that are now gonna be succumbed to a winter concoction of oil, slush and snow - yum :) Leather just drinks this sort of liquid bile up. To further enhance the situation, my balance is slightly skewed to the left and I have an arm full of work that I brought home. Yeah, extra weight - not helping. As I trudge up the hill I loose my footing once or twice so I decide to try to use my heels as spikes to dig into the snow/ice (I recently saw an episode on ice climbing on the Discovery Channel). This doesn't work very well if you have no traction to begin with to "stab" the ice. So as I look like a baby taking her first steps, I fumble my way up the hill avoiding a rather embarrassing spill as night begins to fall and I pray that some other "brave" driver doesn't come down the hill and conveniently assist me back down the hill by way of their front bumper. So yes, I finally make it home to frantic phone calls form my hubby and a text message from my BFF wondering if I have braved the slippery slope. I made it but next time...I'm just gonna wait for my hubby to get home, or pack sensible shoes. Heels+Ice+MS=Not a good look