The other day I got an email from a friend asking how I had been feeling lately. My friend said “…..don’t get me wrong, you look great. You don’t look any different to me.”. I always appreciate compliments telling me how fabulous I am but what did you really expect me to look like? Does being diagnosed with MS mean I am instantaneously going to morph into some sort of mystical creature? I know my friend by no means meant to be offensive and honestly I wasn’t offended. It just never ceases to amaze me society’s perception of the affects of our precious little disease. Like many other chronic diseases, symptoms are not always visible. So yes, I’m still the same and in a lot of ways a little better. I stress less, laugh more, eat healthier, exercise -sometimes :) and have an overall healthier life balance. So as far as diseases go I guess having MS isn’t the worst thing that could happen. It forced me to put things in my life into proper perspective and it gets me unsolicited compliments. Because “don’t get me wrong”, I still look great!
Sometimes we as MSers get caught up in the depression of this unpredictable disease. Sometimes we get angry, feeling that the monster within systematically and silently robs us of our quality of life. How dare you invade my body. Take up residence as if someone granted you dominion over all that is me! Sound familiar? I have those internal rantings often. Especially when I have reached my irritation quota for the day and want to take my injection needle and shove it where the sun don’t shine of some unsuspecting support person who tells one more time “it doesn’t hurt that bad”. I know, overkill. But then there are days when you meet someone who makes you feel like a complete self absorbed boob for wallowing in your own MS-induced pity party. This past Saturday was one of those days. I had the pleasure on running into a girlfriend I had not seen in years. We did the usual catch up , how’s the kids, how’s the husbands, how’s work, the parents, etc etc. She then mentioned that she had had another daughter since we last spoke. Oh wow! Let me see a picture – normal response right? As she sorted through the many family photos in her super-high tech cell phone she casually mentioned that her beautiful little girl was born with Down Syndrome and congestive heart failure that required open heart surgery at 3 months of age! As a mother my heart instantly ached. How do you endure seeing your precious little bundle being subjected to the poking and prodding that we as MSers know comes with testing for any type of disease. Thankfully they have been blessed. Her surgery was a complete success and she is as active and rambunctious as any little seven year old. Hearing the thankfulllness in her voice and seeing the love on her face as she shared her adorable family photos was infectious. It literally permeated my spirit. And made me realize that no matter how much I dislike the monster within I am so absolutely blessed. Even the day when I may be bound to me bedazzled scooter (oh, you know I will have a fabulously divalicious pink glittered scooter lol) I will still count my blessings. My long lost girlfriend reaffirmed in me that yes, there will be bad days. There may even be absolutely monstrously nightmarish days but I will still be here. Living to enjoy another day on this beautiful green Earth. Besides, even if one day I am unable to walk hot shoes look equally as hot sitting down. LOL